Lol, I swear I tried to be positive, or at least neutral about the new branding campaign from the Department of Tourism to, supposedly, re-brand the Philippines. But it just keeps getting funnier.

All the other details aside, after they announced the new website, BeautifulPilipinas.com, everyone found out that it was one letter away from the porn site BeautifulFilipinas.com. To the untrained eye, this may seem like a very stupid, blundering mistake. But what you may not know, is that this is all part of a bigger plan that they have up their skirts sleeves. I’ll explain this later on.

As new layers of this onion gets peeled, I’m seeing people compare the new logo of the “Pilipinas Kay Ganda” brand with that of Polland’s… where the resemblances are hard to ignore.

But don’t jump to conclusions yet! Maybe it was actually Polland that stole our idea with some sort of time machine that they used to come to this point in time, then travel back years ago and then change their logo to what you see above and making Polska a “kay ganda” campaign that the Filipinos actually came up with! Damn Polskas! What does Polska even mean anyway!?!

OR maybe the font, the exact copy of the letter P and A, the waves underneath, the tree and the entire feel of this seemingly replicated image is no more than a coincidence.

Also, stop thinking of it as plagiarism! After all, the Supreme Court of the Philippines proclaimed that there is no such thing as Plagiarism! So think of it more like… inspiration.

Anyway, to help out the DoT, I figured we all need to give our own suggestions as to how we can fix this little bump on the road.

First of all, keep the BeautifulPilipinas.com website and try to win over some of the viewers of that other, less classier site, with the similar name. Then, go all out with branding our country as one with “kay ganda” women. I mean why not? The porno industry is a multi-billion dollar industry! Bring over a small fraction of that and we’ll see less hungry mouths on the streets and more hungry mouths in the…. well…. dining tables.

We re-brand with the porno emphasis, bring in D.O.M. money, and get more people with more jobs serving the sudden influx of tourists; tourists who need their knobs polished, their salads tossed and their oil changed…. among other things. With that we’ll see a steep decrease in the unemployment ratio and a steady rise in local earnings. The economy rises from the ashes, more people have consistent incomes which leads to higher levels of education which leads to better leadership in our government. The new leadership brings about positive change which includes a cleansing of our environment. Our streets get cleaned up, followed by our rivers, bays and pink overpasses. With more people joining the working class, more educated people and an environment of cleanliness,  the crime rates come down to a shocking low and for the first time ever, we can walk around Greenhills without having to check whether or not our wallets or cellphones have been stolen every 5 minutes.

Then we live happily ever after.

You’re welcome.

Filipinas Kay Ganda

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